I hate my life
by ilovekenschmidt
Summary: Kendall is being bullied. Will he choose to end his life or stay in a living hell hole.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfic. Its about Kendall being bullied by his friends and ****family. This wouldnt happen in real life cuz kendall is amazing.**

Kendalls POV:

_You are so fat kendall. Why cant you do anything right. You mess everything up. You are so stupid. I hate you you bitch I never wanna see your ugly face again._

Thats all I ever remembered. Nasty insults. From my closest friends and family. It hurts when james calls me fat and ugly. And when carlos says I cant do anything right. When your mom says you mess everything up and she never wants to see your ugly face again. That hurts more then anything. And katie she called me a bitch. And logan, well actualy Logan didnt do anything to me. I guess hes my only true friend. I wish he knew that I had a huge crush on him before I do this.

Yes. I kendall knight want to kill myself. My life is a living hell. My friends used to love me. Now all the other ones except logan hate me.

Questions keep racing through my mind. Should i kill myself or should Istay in this hell hole. I decided i would. But not without letting logan know how much i love him. I quickly wrote a letter.

_Dear logie, _

_I know i shouldnt be doing this but im going to die tonight. I cant keep living like this. I just wanted to say i love you. you are the only friend i have left. Im sorry Im doing this but i have my only escape. I love you logie_

_Kendall_

I put the letter down. And went back to my room. I grabbed a knife and slit my wrist. Slowly the blood flowed out of my wrist. It was a painful death. As I took my last breath the lights went out and I entered darkness.

**Thanks for reading. Please dont criticize it was my first fanfic. And dont be a bully. This was a true story about what a kid did in my school cuz he was bullied. Please stand up for anyone being bullied. Thanks Gia**


	2. Logan

**Hey everyone. Thanks for reading this story. Heres chapter two!**

Logans POV:

The next day was a mess for me. The note Kendall wrote was outside my door when I woke up. I guess his parents left it there for me. I wonder if they even care that he is dead. I mean his parents hated him anyways. That must have felt awful knowing that your parents hated you. That is probably why Kendall did what he did.

There was a knock on the door and Logan went to answer it. It was James. "Hey Logan. Hows it going?"

"Horrible. Do you know that Kendall commited suicide yesterday because of being bullied."

"Wow. I never should have called him fat or a bitch"James said

"That was you? He always told me someone was calling him names but he never said who. I guess he didnt want me to hate you like i do now"

"I will just go "

Just like that he left and logan was alone again. Logan was so upset. I didnt know what to do.I read the note over and over again until I finally realized something. I loved Kendall now he's gone.

**A/N: I know it was short but I will be updating soon. Hope you like:)**


	3. Funeral and goodbyes

**Hey everyone who is reading this. This chapter may stink cuz Im having a little bit of writers block. But no worrys Ill be back on top right away. Special thanks to gothluv22 who has been ****so nice and sending my reviews telling me to go on.**

**Logans POV:**

Kendall is gone. I love him. How could I have been so stupid to know that i loved him. I cant believe it. Any shot that I had with going out with Kendall, just flew out the window.

*Phone rings*

"hello" Logan answers.

"HI this is kendalls mom. I just wanted to let you know that the funeralwas tommorow and that you are more then welcome to come"Ms Knight said.

"Thanks for inviting me but kendall said you and your husband hated him"Logan said bitterly

"Yes but knowing hes gone makes me realize that he was the best thing I ever had"

"WOW. It took you for kendall to die and then u realize it. Ill be at the funeral. Bye" Logan hung up the phone pissed at kendalls mom. Why wouldit take kendallslife to know that she had an amazing son. Thats just wrong.

The next day Logan got ready for the funeral. He was super upset but had to go. It was kendall. He wouldnt miss it just because he was afraid what to expect. He got in the car and headed to where the funeral was being held.

The funeral was only an hour but felt like a year to Logan. Tears poured down his face as everyone got in line. They all were going up to the coffin to say their last thoughts to kendall. I didnt know what to say. Would I get any words out or will i just choke up at the sight of him laying dead in his coffin.

Finally it was my turn. I stood next to the coffin and rambled about how much i was gonna miss him and that whos gonna be there to guard my back when people call me nerd and beat me up. After that I ran out of the place and drove all the way home crying.

When I got home I took a shower and slid into bed. I was about to fsll asleep when i realized I forgot to tell kendall something. I got down on my knees and started to pray. I dont even know if i could pray to him. Hes not even a god or saint or whatever.

"I forgot to tell you this and Im sorry. I wanted to tell you that I love you back. If I told you before you killed yourself maybe you wouldnt have done it but I didnt and Im sorry. I hope you can hear me kendall. I love you with all my heart. If i get married you will still be my one and only guy. I know I keep saying this but I love you"

Looking down on Logan from heaven, Kendall smiled when he heard those three words. "I love you too Logie" Kendall said as he watched Logan fell asleep.

**A/N: Ok i guess that wasnt so short and was a pretty good chapter. Hope u all liked**

**Gia**


	4. Goodbye forever

**A/N Hey guys. After this chapter I need to know if u want me to continue this story or possibly just start a new one. Thanks for reviews.**

**Disclaimer i dont own btr all though i wish i did**

Logans POV:

My head shot up when I thought I heard Kendall. I looked around but didnt see anything. I was only imagining things I told myself. But boy was I wrong.

_I went to sleep and was caught in a dream. A dream people say they have about a loved one when they die. I was alone. With kendall in a beautiful garden. We were just talking about random stuff like hockey and big time rush and how I wanted to become a doctor. It was so peaceful. Kendall was about to kiss me or thats what I thought. I was pulled into the bathroom and saw how kendall killed himself. He pulled out a knife and slit his wrist. I watched as all the blood came flowing out of him and I couldnt watch anymore but i then heard his last four words. I love you logie. And like that kendall was gone._

I woke up screaming kendalls name. I was drenched in sweat and was crying my heart out. I missed him so much. I always looked to him for comfort but now hes gone and I have no one to look to. _But I am here Logan. Im still here._

I thought i was dreaming still until i turned around and saw kendall. But he was a ghost."Kendall is it really you" I managed to say. He just nodded slowly avoiding eye contact with me. "Why did you do this. Why did you leave me?" Kendall didnt answer again. "Please talk to me I know you can. I know you too well kendall. I know you are hiding something.

**Kendalls POV:**

Logan was right. I was hiding something. I just didnt know how to say it. "I I I cant tell you. Its too complicated."

"kendall you can tell me anything remember"

"Fine. I started being bullied by james. he kept calling me fat and fat ass and I just didnt know what to do. Then my mom called me a bitch and my dad said i screwed everything up and nevered made him happy anyway. I couldnt take it anymore so i just did what I did. I didnt know what I did until i finally realized it. I killed myself. I couldnt even take it back i was scared but happy that i didnt have to live here anymore."

"Kendall you didnt have to do what you did. Now that you are gone Im an open target for bullying because I dont have you anymore. You were my body guard"

"Im so sorry I didnt know"Kendall tried to hold back tears but only one managed to fall.

"Kendall,before you disappear forever can i just ask you one more question." Kendall nodded hesitantly.

"Do you really love me kendall. Honestly?"

Kendall couldnt believe logan just asked him loved eachother since the fifth grade."Of course I love you wouldnt I?"

"You left me kendall. You left me alone with no one to go to for comfort. No one to helpme at school when they are calling me a fag or that small nerdy gay kid."

"I" Kendall started but Logan interpted. "You dont have to say anything kendall. I just. I just wanted to grow old with you. I wanted to marry you. My happiest thoughts were of me and you being succesful with both of our dreams and living together." Logan took a breath and stared at kendall who was just standing in shock. "But you. You kendall knight had to go and ruin it" Logan instantly regreted what he said. People telling kendall he ruined everything was why he killed himself.

"Oh really"Kendall said. "Maybe if you think i ruin evrything to why didnt you just say so. If you did I wouldnt have had to come here. I couldve went to visit my sister who actually apreciated me and didnt think I was a bitch."Logan was just going to say something but kendall cut him off this time. "You know what. I hate you Logan Mitchell. Im not coming back to visit you anymore. Maybe I wont even think about we had. Goodbye Logan. Forever." Just like that Kendall disappeared. Forever.


End file.
